Javascript required
Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer

How to Write a Tribute to a Friend

Jamie Summer

Two weeks ago my best friend's life was cut short.

One minute she was sunshine, light and life, riding through the foothills on the back of a motorcycle. The next she was hooked up to wires, head bandaged, in a hospital bed — without hope for recovery.

And just like that she was gone.

At times the grief I've felt has been suffocating. There are nights I wait for her to appear in my dreams, and when she does I cling to her — sobbing and begging her not to leave.

At other times I'm more rational, and I can smile through tears with love and thanks for the hundreds of memories we made together.

Losing a Best Friend

I would equate losing a best friend to being at sea without a life jacket.

A best friend is someone who pulls you up out of the deep water when you're drowning. Someone who's your all-time sidekick. That person who will drop everything to help or listen and who never asks for anything in return. Someone who loves you for all your flaws and reminds you about your greatness when you need to hear it.

Jamie has been that person for me since the day we met at ten years old.

Losing Jamie is causing me to have to re-wire my brain -to accept that she won't physically be with me anymore.

Before this happened, when I would envision important moments in my future — like my daughters' weddings, becoming a grandmother, even celebrating the fourth of July — Jamie was by my side, like always, the steadfast supporting character in my life. And now, knowing she won't be there…I am having a hard time accepting that.

So I'm on a mission to think of ways to keep her beautiful spirit by my side and in my heart.

I've got some ideas at work already.

But before I share, I want to introduce you to Jamie Summer.

The Day We Met

Jamie and I met thirty years ago.

She was a new student at my school, and she came in tears that first day, which made a huge impression on me. I kept one eye on her all morning, wondering what was making her so sad.

That afternoon, fate stepped in. We were assigned to be partners during writing time, and she was still struggling to hold back her tears when we set off to work on our assignment. Being ten years old, I didn't really know how to handle another kid's emotions, so my go-to was to try to make her laugh.

We had to write a fictional story featuring elves — don't ask me why! — and I started suggesting the goofiest names I could think of for our characters. Some of my suggestions began to bring her out of her shell.

Rufus Roundbottom? "No.." (Hint of a grin).

Larry Lou LiceHair? "No…" (Tiny smile).

Mack McFatso? "No!" (Actual giggle!).

Don't ask me how or why I remember this, but I know we settled on naming our lead character Mortimer the Elf. (Oh how I wish I had saved our story!)

By the time the assignment was finished, we were planning to walk home from school together. And that one walk home turned into walking to and from school every day for several years.

She told me many years later that when I made her laugh that day it was like the sun came out in her life during a sad time. I am so thankful my ten-year-old self chose to do that — because over the years the gifts she gave me far outmatched what I inadvertently gave her that day.

5th Grade Graduation, 1990

Jamie's Legacy

Anyone who knew Jamie will tell you that she was genuinely all about love and connection and generosity.

She used to say that if there was a job that would pay her to find ways to give to others – to match people with specific things they really need – that would be the perfect job for her. She was a massage therapist, so I would tell her that she was giving to others all day, every day! But she would laugh and say she still wanted to do more.

Also, the thing I miss the most about her on hard days are her hugs. She gave everyone REAL hugs – the kind that last long enough to really feel something – and she had hugs for everybody; from people she had just met to her oldest friends.

Jamie's spirit was a giving one. A spirit that thrived on connecting with people and helping people connect with one another. She had a gift for making everyone feel special and truly loved.

My Vow to My Best Friend

Jamie, I miss you so much.

All I want to do every minute of every day is find ways to stay close to you forever now that you are gone. So how can I keep your sweet and pure spirit by my side and in my heart for the rest of my life?

I think the way to honor you is to put into action the most beautiful gifts you gave the world.

By being open. By seeking to connect with others above all else. By being love.

And… I think you would want me to finally take the leap and make my writing dreams a reality.

So I am going to be bold and I am going to be fearless and I am going to take the leap, in honor of you my dearest friend.

You knew how much I loved to write – it's what brought us together in the first place. But I was too shy to share my stories with anyone besides you through the years.

And you knew things have been hard for a while. You knew that my greatest wish was to get my family to a place that was thriving and connecting again.

So my idea for honoring you and for keeping your spirit in my heart is to share my family's journey to reconnect and to do my best to spread love and connection – through my writing.

I also vow to make connections with the people that pass through my life every day, just like you always did.

Jamie, I will love you and treasure our friendship my whole life. I will never forget the gifts you gave the world.

And above all else, I vow to do my best to pass the love you gave me on to others.

With all my heart,

How to Write a Tribute to a Friend

Source: https://dalrympledisconnected.com/a-tribute-to-my-best-friend/